The Right Match

Carbon symbolizes the marriage-idea in Nature. Its one equator is the bond of its unity. It is no longer a pair - and that is what marriage in Nature means, and what it should mean in man's mating practices.

Divided pairs have opposed attributes. The negatives of pairs are metallic acids - the positives are metallic alkalis. All are conductive, for conductivity is a search for balance.

[...] An example of unbalanced mating in Nature is that of the marriage of sodium and iodine or sodium and bromine. Each of these marriages has stability but there is a residue of unbalance in each of them which is evidenced in distorted cube crystals.

Each of them would likewise continue as harmonious marriages unless chlorine appeared, in which case Nature would immediately annul the marriage in favor of chlorine.

[Walter Russell]
A New Concept of the Universe, p113-14

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When healthy persons come together, they each contribute a whole world, because each brings a whole person.

[D.W. Winnicott]
Home Is Where We Start From ('The Meaning of the Word 'Democracy''), p. (unknown)

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Problems arise in interpersonal relationships when people are out of balance [...] The old saying opposites attract is actually true in many cases.

I'm sure many of us can think of examples of relationships in which one person is very rational and non-emotional, and the other person is very emotional and seemingly irrational. What happens in this situation is people see in each other what they don't have in themselves, and by getting together they kind of complete each other's circles.

These people can interact in the physical and spiritual realms but when [the rational person] wants to be rational there is conflict because the [irrational person] has to operate outside of their circle. And the opposite is also true.

[...] The reason there is conflict is because they are constantly trying to pull each other outside of their comfort zones. Oftentimes these people will remain together, because even though there is a lot of conflict, each person provides for the other the aspects of life that are not developed within themselves.

In an ideal situation, both people will develop their wheels fully before trying to start a relationship or a marriage. In this way they can interact equally on all four levels and provide each other balance through harmony rather than through conflict.

[Don Warne]
The Medicine Wheel

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No two men but, being left alone with each other, enter into simpler relations. Yet it is affinity that determines which two shall converse. Unrelated men give little joy to each other; will never suspect the latent powers of each.

We talk sometimes of a great talent for conversation, as if it were a permanent property in some individuals. Conversation is an evanescent relation, - no more.

A man is reputed to have thought and eloquence; he cannot, for all that, say a word to his cousin or his uncle. They accuse his silence with as much reason as they would blame the insignificance of a dial in the shade. In the sun it will mark the hour.

Among those who enjoy his thought, he will regain his tongue.

[Ralph Waldo Emerson]
'Friendship', Self-Reliance and other essays, pg 46-7

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[On how a sane relationship might work]

Well, first you would not be preoccupied by whether it was working or not. You would be preoccupied by whether or not you enjoy or crave each other's company. So, it would not be working the way a business works. That would be exactly the wrong model.

It may be in time that we come to see friendship as our best picture of a working relationship. 

It may be, too, that we need accept that sexual relationships are inevitably unpredictable. One would not then measure the success of a relationship by how long it lasted.

Whether a relationship works for 20 years or for 20 days is not the question. The question is, is my life better with this person? And better, in this instance, does not mean more glamorous or richer or more alluring, there is more to it than that.

[Adam Phillips]
Observer Interview

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Sometimes I think we’re out of time with each other, just by a little but enough to feel it.

We’re like the wheels on one of those jackpot machines, spinning and spinning but never matching.

Sometimes we do. Three red cherries. Those are the good moments.


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Related posts:-
The Colour Wheel 
One to One 
The Devil is in the Details (and God is in the Generalities)
A Good Mix
Maintaing the Balance 

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