Because it is this woman

Hillman: The philosopher Ortega y Gassett asked himself, "Why do I love this woman?" What does the psychoanalyst do with that question? Go into it: She's like your mother, she's not like your mother, she's your anima projection, she reminds you of your first love when you were seventeen or seven, "she's got these incredible qualities that I don't have" or "she's so different from me that it's extraordinary" or "she's just like me, we get along like brother and sister, it's remarkable." We dig and dig and dig to find the reason why.

What does Ortega say? He says: "You love this woman because - because it is this woman."

Ventura (trying the phrase out): "Because it is this woman."

Hillman: And that makes her the unique woman. That's the important thing, the uniqueness. Because it is this woman, it's not another woman. It has nothing to do with any of the rational qualities. It's not, as Stendhal would say, because she's a little ugly and therefore you can see the beauty in her. It's not because she's beautiful.

Ventura: It's not because she's your anima. It's not because she's your muse.

Hillman: It's not because anything. There is no because. The because is: it is this woman. And that gives love back to the Gods. You see, the Gods hit you with her arrow, or they hit her with your arrow, or you both got hit - and that arrow is the reason.

[James Hillman]
with Michael Ventura
We've Had a Hundred Years of Psychotherapy - And the World's Getting Worse, p.164, 165

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