Cultivating Friendships

Friendships should always allow room for growth. We all change and grow over the years, sometimes in a way that’s out of our control, and sometimes in a way that we consciously bring about. If people choose to better themselves then those around them must allow them the room to maneuver.

To constantly reiterate what that person is, in the face of what they are striving to be, is to undo the positive change that they are trying to bring about; your reminders tie them down like lead weights, when really you should be helping them to cut free from the weights that they have already imposed upon themselves over the years.

Encourage the best and most positive within your friends. Don’t reinforce the worst.

Related posts:-
Shedding Skin
Creative Partnerships


  1. Respect is not fear and awe; it denotes, in accordance with the root of the word (respicere, to look at), the ability to see a person as he is, to be aware of his unique individuality.

    Respect means the concern that the other person should grow and unfold as he is. Respect, thus, implies the absence of exploitation.

    I want the loved person to grow and unfold for his own sake, and in his own ways, and not for the purpose of serving me. If I love the other person, I feel one with him or her, but with him as he is, not as I need him to be as an object for my use.

    It is clear that respect is possible only if I have achieved independence; if I can stand and walk without needing crutches, without having to dominate and exploit anyone else.

    [Eric Fromm]
    The Art of Loving, p.22

  2. Treat a man as he is and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he can and should be, and he will become as he can and should be.

    [J.W. Goethe]