What is your story?

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“The way we imagine our lives is the way we are going to go on living our lives. For the manner in which we tell ourselves about what is going on is the genre through which events become experiences.” 6

C’s view of the situation will arise from whatever story he chooses to tell himself. Let’s look again at the three courses of action offered above. In the first, C tells himself a story in which A, B and himself are all reasonable people, people who are connected through the primary bond of friendship – a bond that is forged upon important notions of respect and equality. In this story, C believes in his friends, and believes that if he gives them a chance, they will do the right thing.

The second story paints a different picture. In it C has, against his will, been shunted into the role of victim, a role that he is not comfortable playing. He has never played this role before and feels that it is not befitting of his character, and he will do all he can to escape this fate. The bond of friendship has been seconded to power relations. C feels that he is being taken advantage of, and his only course of action – his only way to regain power, and an equal footing with his friends - is to fight against this inequality. C becomes the freedom fighter, and all he wants is justice.

The third story once again has C as the victim, only this time it is a role that C feels somewhat more comfortable with. Whilst C loves his friends, he realises that they are only human and that, as such, they are privy to all the weaknesses that befit our kind. He sees these weaknesses as inevitable; an essential component of the bittersweet nature of human relations. In this fantasy C is the martyr, and his suffering is an inescapable part of his lot.

These are just three examples of the many stories that could be told in this situation. We'll consider one final story.